Why do I care?!

She says she wants to live life by how she wants to.. and..
She says to me..
"Why do you care?!"

Why do I care?!
Now.. When I think to myself..
Why do I EVEN care....!?
There's no reason for me to..!
I get nothing out of it..! Only thing its done so far is get me hurt time and time again..

You know what..
If she wants to get hurt then so be it..
I tried to stop it but if she wants a crash course to pain then fine..
I guess the last lesson didn't mean squat since she obviously hasn't learned anything!
Same situation as before...
And it will end the same...
She even see's that.. But she doesnt care..
Cause this time she's prepared..

Think about this...
Why the hell would you put yourself in a position where you know someone is going to hurt you.. and just leave you in pain..
For the temporary happiness??
Sure everyone knows that nothing lasts forever..
But if you know for sure nothing good can come out in the end... and nothing you do can even influence or change the outcome..
Then why do you put yourself there??
Its like putting a loaded gun to your heart.. Waiting for the other to pull the trigger..

She says to me there are thousands of other girls..
Well maybe she should follow her own advice..
There are thousands of other guys who aren't assholes who would ditch her!!
I wish I had the kind of confidence to slap some sense into her..
But thats not me...
And its her choice to realise it..

You know why I want her to not learn it the hard way?
Cause I did...
I can say its the most fucked up feeling I've ever felt..
If just simple thoughts can break me down..
I don't even want to know what it will do when she's under the firing squad..

If you had a friend.. Your best friend..
And you knew he/she was going to make a huge mistake...
Would you try and stop it??
Even if it means destroying your friendship in the process?

Unfortunately I do believe that..
And thats exactly what happened..
I failed in changing her mind as well..

The irony of killing 2 birds with one stone..
I just screwed up two things...
Our friendship... and I failed..
And no matter how much I would like the outcome to change..
It never will....



Its times like this I ask myself why I bother being nice to people...
Getting nothing back is fine..
But given shit back.. Why do I truly bother?!

WHY DO I CARE?!
Cause if you knew just how painful it can be..
You know damn well you wouldnt want anyone else to experience it..
Even if they deserve it... It shouldnt happen..

Why do I care?!
Because I loved you...
But now after all these months.. Your just another person I once thought I knew...

So don't you dare say Why do I care!
If the same thing happened to me!
You wouldn't even put the time and effort into helping me!
You'd just let me get hurt!
Cause you never really cared for me that much..
(The past few months justify it)

Honestly..
Its clear now..
You never truly loved me..