Id like to say..
The intention I had when I made this blog..
Firstly.. It was never intended to be targeted at her..
I admit I did change the way I wrote after the 2nd part...
I still felt the emotions just by remembering the past..
I only did so.. To get rid of them haunting me..
So dont say Im bashing her or anything..
Cause It was never my intention.. This blog is NOT for her..
Its for myself..
I only wrote down everything cause I needed to express it somehow..
It was cluttering my brain.. and everyday was just killed due to the fact I just kept thinking about it..
It seriously was affecting me in school.
And i couldnt understand anything about the situation when I had no reference of the past..
So I thought to myself recently.. That I have used this to see the past in detail..
And hopefully understand my OWN situation..
I felt that writing it down could help..
And yes It has.. Alot!
I really feel much better as I write this..
So To sum it up...
It wasnt for her.. It was all for myself.. To help myself to understand.. and to help myself move on.. By saying things Ive always wanted to say.. To her but never happened.. To get my life back.. I just want to be happy again.. Without all this mess in my head..
There are alot of things I regret..
But thats me.
People are not perfect..
And I am definately not even close to perfect.
Secondly,
It was also never really supposed to be read by all..
AND was never meant to sound like a DRAMA story! lol..
and I dont want people to read it and pity me or judge me..
Thats the last thing I want.. Cause I hate being pitied
Cause It was really never meant for people other than close friends to read it...
Cause its my side of the story..
Its my opinions..
And I don't really care what you say about them..
Cause its the past.. And everyone has to go through suffering first in order to truly appreciate what they have...Well thats all I have to say!
Part 5 whenever I have the time..
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